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Broken Chains

6.30.2005

Unprepared

I have never been one of those delightful sorts of people who find it necessary to plan, plan, plan and prepare, prepare, prepare...nope, I've always been a spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous kind of girl. Which drives my husband nuts at times, but that's not what this post is about.

Perhaps this aspect of my personality is what is causing me to not really be too sure about this whole pregnancy thing. Okay, so I now have 6.5 months to prepare for the arrival of this child...and not only for his/her arrival, but also for the care and parenting of said child. And yet, I can't seem to think much beyond the fact that our baby is the size of a walnut this week, and his/her fingers are formed, he/she is no longer an embryo, etc. That's all very in-the-moment, quite consistent with the kind of person I am.

When I try to imagine what it will be like to gain 25-30 lbs, find clothes to fit over my bump, give birth, nurse, change diapers...I just can't. It's not that I'm uninformed...I've been reading lots and lots and as a result will hopefully face this with a little more poise and confidence than I usually face life-changing events with. I just can't--and really don't even want to--imagine what it will be like. Hours go by every day when I don't even think about the fact that I am going to be a mother and that my whole life will change the instant our child is born.

So here's my question: do I need to stress myself out worrying that I'm not preparing enough emotionally? Can I just take today as it comes, live and love today, and not worry about 6.5 months from now? I think I can...doesn't Scripture tell us "do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?...Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:25, 34)

God gave Israel sufficient manna for the day...not for the week or the month or the year, just the day. He gives us grace for the day. When we live in the future, we miss so much about the present. So...I think I can live and work for today, and trust that God is going to take care of tomorrow and next week and 6.5 months from now and all the years that He gives after that.

What do you think?

6.21.2005

Priceless

The gasps, the wide-open eyes, the exclamations, the jumping up and down, the squeals, the giggles that didn't stop until much later...these were all part of the much-anticipated reaction of my mom when we told her on Thursday evening that she's going to be a grandma. It was priceless.

6.09.2005


Our house! We actually walked through it the other day and were able to visualize walls, etc. I can't believe it's really happening. Posted by Hello